Dear Journal,

How are you feeling? As for me. I am fine. I am happy. Things are going well. My mind is still going wild, but I am settling down. OK, so let me jump right to the news.

I just couldn’t help myself. The sexual thoughts, her, and everything were just way to heavy. So when she brought me lunch and she was flirting with me a lot and just couldn’t seem to be able to stay out of my face at work like normal, I figured, what the hell. I might as well ask her out for the second time.

So I did. I went into her office and told her exactly what I wanted to do with her on such and such date. She said “OK”, and she said call her to remind her because she will forget(the date is a week from now and she is going on vacation, too). She seemed enthusiastic.

The next day she wasn’t acting funny at all. I even caught her looking out of the window to check and see if I was coming to work and she continued to be in my face today. We talked a lot as usual. The sexual thoughts were racing heavy in my mind all day. I still felt like I was doing something wrong. I felt like there is something that I needed to tell. So near the end of her shift, I suddenly felt like I should tell her exactly what’s on my mind.

So I went into her office and said,

about hanging out…I just thought that I should tell you that the reason I want to hang out with you is because I find you sexually attractive, and I like you, you know…I just don’t want there to be any surprises…it’s better to be blunt. I find you sexually attractive.

She was looking at me the whole time. She smiled and said, “awwww….well I kind of figured that. ” Then she said “OK!”

And that was it. I will call her to remind her like she said. If she shows up, like I am 100% sure she will, it is on. It means I can kiss and touch and what not 🙂 I’m going to look up a bunch of sex techniques and I am sure that we will make really good love.

Annnnndddd there is this other girl. She is one of the models that I used to shoot with. I wrote about her ages ago. I think it has been a year since I had last seen her, but I’ve always thought about her. I am giving a bunch of things away. I have camera stuff that I want to give to her. I really appreciate the shoots we did.

I messaged her via instagram and she responded immediately. She seemed very happy and we chatted. The chat led down to us getting together. She seemed vary excited. Despite her being gay, she does seem to be interested in me. I will go out with her on a Friday, and I will make love and hang out with my coworker the following Saturday. I am sure this will all work out well. I am looking forward to my dates. They are both beautiful. Most of the time, I just think really heavy about my coworker, though. But I am sure that hanging out with this  girl will be great as well.

One thing about messing with all these girls is that just thinking about them makes it hard for me to focus on my other stuff that I have to study. They are a bit of a distraction. I need them in my life though. I just have to get used to them being in my life.

Man, I am 100% certain that these dates will go really well, just like my photoshoots do.

Another thing I want to talk about is my weight. I am finally down to 149 pounds, just 4 more pounds to go, and I am down to 145 pounds just like I was when I was 21. I thought I was really healthy back then, but I was not healthy at all. Now I am in the best shape and health that I have ever been in in my life.


Take care !





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