06/30/17

Dear Journal,

How are you feeling? As for me, I’m OK. I didn’t drink myself in sadness the other day. I was too tired to walk to the store and get a bottle. However, I did drink yesterday. More on this later.

I saw my coworker, yesterday, and I think I was normal and so was she. I only feel the sadness or whatever it is when I am alone, basically. I always can’t wait to talk with her about something though. I let her initiate all conversations.

I do like her, though. I’m not sure if she’s the right girl for me or if it is just a sexual thing that I have for her anymore. Maybe, I just need a friend. I always make sure to get one good look into her eyes as we talk, now. Yesterday was the first time ever that I got a good look at them. They’re beautiful and brown. I might just be in like.

So, yesterday, I went to a friend’s art show. Memo’s art show. I haven’t seen her in forever. In observance of yesterday, she’s just not beautiful to me anymore. She’s not pretty. She is looking more and more like a guy to me and is getting too hiipyish. That’s what it is. We used to do photoshoot together all the time, now I think we don’t connect so much.

I drank for the first time in three months at her event. I tried not to, but I felt like I really needed to to relax. I felt better after I started drinking and I was able to take a few photos like she asked me to. I took photos of her but I did not enjoy them. Our photoshoots are over.

I did meet another beautiful girl, though. She was very lively and seemed real nice. I chatted with her a bit.  She ended up telling me that she wants to do a photoshoot with me. I am very delighted to. I gave room for another guy to flirt with her a bit. When I noticed that she was free, I asked her to take a few photos. I love how she looks in them and how they came out.

I really hope we do our shoot together.

MASSIVE UPDATE !

Sooo….I was at work with my coworker, today and we talked a lot. We were in the lunch room  where we have an oven. I told her I was going to make a burger. She asked me to cook for her. I played hardball and told her no. But then I thought about it, why not? She at least brings me food sometimes. She seemed very happy that I cooked and she was staring at me as I cooked. Kind of like a look of desire. She asked me if I liked to cook. I told her “yes”, I guess. I got to know her more. We talked about intimate things like her family and what not. I just felt like I really knew her. I felt like it was obvious she liked me too. I know what she wants, and she is clear about it. She has been stuck in my mind so much and even more after our kitchen time that anytime anyone interrupted me from thinking about her, I became annoyed. I started to develop a headache. I told myself that I just had to ask her out, today. So, i did. She seemed very happy that I did. She said, “yes”

Take care !

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