Dear Journal,

How are you? 

This is a quick entry–my fantasies in 10 minutes.

And my apologies in 10 minutes I should say.

I feel so bad and I am sorry for every girl that I have ever let down. I have let down many, I’m sure. I let them down my choice of not choosing to be honest and be myself and to do things to impress them.

I let them down by showing them that I was afraid of what they think of me.

I let them down by being too shy

I let them down by never making a move even when their advances were obvious

I let them down by being too jealous.

I let them down by lying.

I let them down by disappointing them in general.

I am sorry to all. 

This will not happen again.

Meanwhile, I’m on this 21 day nofap thing. I feel pretty great, actually. I’m on day 6. It’s tempting at times, but I can maintain discipline. Thinking about it, practicing discipline is good. 

I’ve been visualizing about the type of girls I like too. After 21 days, I should meet one. I even went as far as screen shooting a photo of a girl’s profile pic from an app. She had a body that I really liked. I just keep it as a visual–“this is the kind of look/girl I like” sort of thing to have in my mind.

I fantasized about a girl that I know used to like me. I never maderba move because I didn’t get it until now or I was afraid. I felt really sorry as I thought about her.

Take care


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