01/16/17

She was very pretty. I love urban lifestyle–I love being in a big city. I love seeing crowded sidewalks filled with all kinds of people, and I love seeing the streets packed with cars; everyone rushing to get to their destination. I hate my job and the people in it. I hate it so much that I go a few blocks elsewhere during my lunch and I just sit somewhere and eat outside.

I was coming from eating lunch and I was on my way back to work. I looked backed, and I saw her standing there, dazed. I didn’t notice her as I was walking towards her. I only looked back because I have the habit of watching my back. I’m mildly paranoid at times. She had brown curly hair, and big beautiful brown eyes. It was a decent scene for me to notice. She was standing dazed like, and she had a blushing type of smile on her face. Her arms were folded and the breeze was blowing her hair a bit,  which made it more cool. She was watching me. When I looked backed for a second, she quickly put her head down as if she had been busted. I kept going about my way.

I went out Saturday night. Unbelievably, I didn’t feel like drinking. But I forced myself to drink. I had some vodka and a can of beer. It was a really nice party. I can’t wait until they put the set I like on their soundclound. It was crowded. I was tired, though. I actually sat somewhere and fell asleep for a second until a girl woke me up. After telling each other how beautiful we are she told me that it makes her sad to see people sleep at parties. I got embarressed and walked off. I should have continued our conversation. When I was on the dance floor, another girl grabbed me, saying, “thank you for letting me be quite all this time and thank you for letting me dance next to you.” I barely said anything back. I guess I have to work on chasing girls and comebacks or something.

I noticed a really heavy girl at the party. It’s sort of a fetish of mine. I had sex with a really heavy white girl years ago, and it felt ultra amazing. She was huge. I decided that I liked her. I’ve been wanting a heavy girl for a while, now. I went over and made a conversation with her, but she gave me the look that told me to move on…so I did 🙂 I said nothing else to her the whole party.

I keep thinking of one of the girls I used to party with. I think of her a lot. I thought that she was gay, but now I see that she isn’t. She was actually hitting on me when we first met, but I didn’t add on the pieces until now-nearly a year too late. It was obvious she wanted my attention. She searched me out on facebook and added me. She liked any and everything I had posted for a while. Based off conversations I had with her friends, they talked about me, and she knew more about me then her friends did. She always tried to get my attention at parties. She would find me and ask me to take photos of her. She tried having conversations with me as well. At the time, I put myself into non flirting mode because I thought my straightness with make the gay girls uncomfortable. I didn’t want to guess at all. I took my mind off of it and just assumed she was 100% gay. I was wrong. It’s OK. I just moved on with my life and mission. The main girl’s girlfriend used to stop me at parties and ask me to take her photo, too. The main girl suddenly stopped inviting me to parties and she even told me that I took too many photos of her girlfriend. She recent;y invited me again after months of my disappearance but I don’t think I will go again. It’s just time to move on.

Before I went out, I didn’t really have a plan other than that party, so I looked for bars to go to in this popular tourist area near me. I don’t really like the area because it’s Hollywood, you know. But I try not to judge. I think I should explore the area a lot more. I will do that again and actually go into one of the bars. I have main bar that I usually attend there, but they didn’t let me in that day because they were having someone’e private party. I get uncomfortable around big crowds sometimes, and I am not sure why. Hollywood is a place where I am not so at ease. I think just being there and exploring will help me grow in that area, you know.

Other than that, I have just been keeping up with this year’s goals. I published an ebook on Amazon ! I just wanted to see how to do it, really. The process was easy, so now, when I publish the main book that I want to publish, I will have some experience under my belt. Do check it out !

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