Carry blow. Carry drugs. That’s how I feel after tonight. Girls are always asking me for it. I think it’s because of my race or more because of the fact that I am older. For one reason or another they expect me to be selling drugs.
The last time I actually had some and I gave it to a girl, she basically made love to me on the dance floor. The girl who asked me for it tonight was absolutely beautiful. I liked her weight, eyes, and hair. At the time she was asking for it, I felt really bad that I couldn’t satisfy her. Now I feel like I should carry drugs all the time, even if I am not a dealer. I am after the apparent love from girls and I see that drugs will do the trick since I don’t have James Bond swag, yet.
I asked myself what is my goal of going out, tonight. Naturally, I only felt like I wanted to get out of the house and hang out. I didn’t really feel a strong emotion for sex or anything. I didn’t feel attracted to anyone but her. I felt attrated to her when she hit me on the shoulder asking me for drugs. She was just beautiful. I will never be at that kind of party without drugs again.
Speaking of women. I keep asking myself what kind of girl I really like, and I can never figure it out. I close my eyes and envision, but it doesn’t help. I just want to meet a girl and have a girlfriend. I just want to be good at meeting women in general, and truthfully, I hope I don’t have to rely on drugs, but it seems like a good cheat meanwhile,
Take Care !