It hurts. It makes me sad at times. Will it ever go away–that feeling I am stupid and that I’m always doing something wrong to be yelled at. I may always look back to observe a person in authority’s facial expression, boidy language, and general response to get an answer to rather I am doing OK or not. Maybe I’ll always look around in crowd and wonder if someone is judging me.Maybe I has nothing to do with my mom’s constant yelling at me. I’m sure are all damaged by our parents in someway. That’s how I feel today. How are you?
I went to Krav Maga class. We had one of the master teachers come visit us and give a two hour class. I’m blessed and very thankful that I am able to continue to take this class. I’m blessed and thankful that I have found this class.
Before class, I woke up early and had a really big breakfast full of fruit. I spent a lot of time packing things last night to prepare for today. I packed lunch snacks and dinner and also breakfast lunch and snacks for tomorrow as well because…I will go to work, now. After work, I plan on going to party. After partying, I plan on going back to work. After work, I plan on doing a photoshoot with a Russian girl. I think I can last a 36? Hour day. I’ll take lots of bee pollen and coiffee !
I saw a beautiful girl this morning on the way to class. She wasn’t THAT beautiful. I only liked her skin complexion and hair style. She walked up to me an asked me a question about directions. I answered and left her alone. Later, I went for the “well if we get off at the same stop, I’ll just tell her that I’m attracted to her” decision and self talk. We didn’t get off at the same stop 😦
I’m getting more and more but bold to do this with random girls, but I’m not bold or …I don’t get the deep feeling to make me want to approach a girl in a situation where everyone hears.
Take Care !