12/16/16

Dear Journal,

How are you feeling? As for me, I’m fine. Or, maybe I’m, not so fine. I drank some Brandy and beer, yesterday, so that may be the reason why I woke up with a headache, today. I was also very annoyed yesterday for a number of reasons. I had to go to work for a meeting on my day off. The plus side is extra money. The minus side is just being in my work environment on my day off. I didn’t want to be around nor see my coworkers. I wanted to go grocery shopping and then go to Krav Maga class at night. Going to the meeting made it difficult to do that. I only went grocery shopping. Another thing that made me annoyed is a situation that came up. This weird gay guy at work likes me. I have no problem with him being gay. I just think that he’s a creep and is not nice. There is also a girl at work. I don’t think she is interested in me. I’m not sure if I am interested in her. She is the only one I am comfortable with at work, though.

She came and sat right next to me before the meeting started. That made me feel a little better. I enjoyed it; only to have the gay dude show up and find a way to squeeze his fucking seat between us even though his gossip buddy clearly waved for him and made a seat for him next to her. Now I had to sit next to that fucker all meeting and have him constantly try and make conversation. I ignored him like he wasn’t even there. He asked to borrow may pen and I said “no.” I wanted to make a point of being an asshole to him. He’s weak, so it got to him. I’m sure I didn’t look to good in the eyes of the girl there. And since I am concerned about that, I guess I do have a slight interest in her. I hate to admit that.

Going to that work meeting killed my whole groove I had planned that day. On the way to the meeting, I was feeling really good because I hadn’t seen my coworkers, yet. I was really jovial and I was in flirt mode. I complimented some girls on the way to work. Nothing creepy. They were genuine compliments:

Hey, I like you glasses !

That girl was wearing some cool cat ear shaped glasses that got my attention. Yeah, just compliments like that.

I felt like an asshole after the meeting. Those people are OK with each other at work. I’m kind of distant and too myself and I couldn’t wait to get out of there. That made me feel like a bad person. I went grocery shopping feeling that way. It kind of killed my mood to even think about approaching more girls. It messed with my mind. I randomly picked a diet off of “DietPoint” that ended up costing me way more than I wanted it to. I picked “The Lemon Diet.” I spent about $90.00 for the groceries for it. The diet will last a week. I think $90 for a weeks worth of food is way too much. But this diet is pretty awesome though. It consist of a looooooottttt of fruit and drinking lemon water first thing in the morning and about 5 times per day. How will I look in a week? My skin is becoming or it already is very clear because of these diets.

I tend to not like a lot of coworkers, I think. Maybe that’s part of being a Cancer and also part of being an introvert. We love our shell. Sure I love going out, but I definitely need a considerable amount of time in the cave.

I woke up with a headache a little mid of the bad mood left over. I am feeling a great deal a lot better as I am writing, though. Another thing that is putting me in a bad mood is the Trump fear. It very very very annoying for me to hear people sob about Trump being the president because I support him. I think he did a lot for himself in his lifetime. He managed billion dollar companies, so I feel he will be able to manage the country pretty well. Intuitively, I think that people only hate him because he was so proudly successful all these years. He’s flipping Washington on its head, and I love it. We need change and not the same ole story we get told over and over through every president.

The people at the meditation center, some of them, want to get into these complaints about Trump. Those are the ones I will stay away from. I stay away from a lot of them in general. I’m really not ready to dive full on and interact with people there, yet. I only go and meditate and then I leave. I went to meditate this morning. I came late, so I think I only meditated for a little over an hour. I had a very fruit filled breakfast along the way. I drink a lot of lemon juice mixed with water. I mixed a cup of fresh berries(blackberry, blueberry, raspberry, and strawberry) with some almonds and plain yogurt. I topped it off with half an apple sliced up. I ate that, the other half of the apple, and I ate a whole Chinese pair. Damn that was a good and healthy breakfast.

I came home after. I sort of want to chill out somewhere, but I also wanted to get home so I can clean the house. It’s a mess ! I also wanted to do as much of the Freecodecamp exercises that I can, which I am going to do, right now.

Anyways,

Take Care !

dsc_3600

 

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