Dear Journal,

How are you feeling? As for me, I’m fine. Today is going well.  The days will always be well. A girl smiled at me and started a conversation with me just now. I only responded and kept going about my way. She’s still sitting a few seats away at the moment. I may have a chance to fix my screw up if she meant anything and if there was a screw up because of it. She is long haired and very beautiful. I had to take my headphones off to get her to repeat what she said. If my ears are right, I know I heard a Eastern European? Accent in there somewhere. My decision is made as I write. I’m going to just flat out tell her that she is attractive and that I’d like to date her. I’m not going to do the whole “meant to be” thing and wait to see if we get off at the same stop. I’m going to just flat out do it, right now.

Well…am I scared? Not really, because I got up, and just before I was going to pet her on the shoulder, I took a second look. She looks too young. Fuck it, find out !

Well…this is going:

Excuse me, are you in college?

I said after I taped her on the shoulder. She looked back and said “no”. I observed a second time and thought, well, she looks older now. I thought to just ask her if she graduated or if she was in highschool. After a second of thinking and observing, I went back to my seat. Fuck it. It’s over. She’s leaving now, too.

The point is, I tried. I’ve been telling myself to never be afraid of approaching any girl no matter what, pretty much all week. I’ve been on the hunt ever since I have been telling myself that. I approached a girl this morning, too. It’s fun, actually. I’m scared and shy most of the time. The more I do, the better I’ll get. I deserve a date, despite my hobby.

Memo messaged me on facebook telling me that she is coming back to the States and that she wants to hang out and do photos. I’m still not sure rather she likes me or not. I’m sure she did a lot before, but I never made a move, so we’re friends now. I figure that if the chemistry is right and I suspect some sort of likeness from her when we are hanging out, that I should make a move. I am mildly attracted to her, now. She would be a good person to test things on. If she decides to not hang with me anymore because I sort of like her romantically,  it wouldn’t bother me as much.

I may have found another Russian girl to do a shoot with. This is not for the book, though, so we will do innocent photos outside.


Take Care !



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