11/09/16

Dear Journal,

How are you feeling? As for me, I am fine. I was a little angry today. I can see that I still have my temper, and I let myself lose it, today on a bus driver. I didn’t like the way he talked to me. It seemed accusatory. My solution and pay back was to try and make him lose his temper so that he could get up and hit me or something and possibly lose his temper. I called him every curse word I could think of. I was trying to think of harsher things to say. I put his mother’s name in it. He still didn’t do anything by the time I was ready to get off the bus. The pay back was good enough for the circumstance, I guess. I have little regret. I feel like he deserves a lot more. I’m not a “forgive” kind of dude. I’m all eye for an eye. For some reason, a lot of people in society will look at that kind of attitude as being bad. I refuse to agree.

Trump won the election. I am happy with it. I see a man that won despite the lies and challenges that were thrown at him. He won against all odds. He didn’t break down or panic under pressure. That’s so good.

I am waiting patiently, like a loser, for another response from my ex date. It’s sort of a shame that I am still thinking about her instead of being busy with a new girl already. Maybe it’s normal, and I shouldn’t feel so bad? I just can’t wait to see what she has to say. I have been wanting to see her for the longest. Attraction wise, other than a big brown eyes, full and beautiful big pink lips, and ultra ultra long fluffy hair, she’s not really in what I am ultimately hoping for. I like big goods. I big ass would be nice. Big boobs will also be nice. Having both are excellent ! But hey…Her personality and such are something that I am aiming for. We can both be spiritual weirdos. Like if I wanted her to come to the meditation center with me, she would be exited and down. That’s really beautiful. No girl that I know would do that, I don’t think. Maybe that’s why I still thought about her.

Any girl that dates me has to be OK with my form of art, though. I’ve dated some that initially opposed, but seeing that I wouldn’t change my mind, she gave up and just trusted that I wasn’t cheating.

Lately, I have been diving into Ruby. It’s easy to learn. I am learning it because I really want the website to look good when I make it again. I was going to just do it with html and CSS, but Ruby sounds easier and efficient. It’s actually Ruby on Rails that I will learn eventually, but I thought it was a good idea to learn Ruby first. I don’t think I have a passion for coding like I do for photography, and I hope that I am not taking interest in it as a plan B. I just feel the need to learn it for whatever reason. I want to be able to build something so that I can display my photos in it in a way that I want to show them.

Anyways, take care. I will start studying a few things, now.

dsc_3711

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