Dear Journal,

How are you feeling? As for me, I’m fine. Things are OK. I was lazy and I slept in, again. I haven’t exercised since Saturday. I have been trying to keep up with my programs. I guess my body needs the rest or I just don’t have discipline. I’ll start exercising again this Friday.

I’m not going to the meditation center, today like I had planned to. I want to get a good nights sleep so that I will be nice and focused on tomorrow’s photoshoot. This girl better not flake. She already rescheduled on me, but she followed back with another date so that’s OK, I suppose. I’ve been so down and feeling just awful lately that I’m not even sure if I will be focused on the shoot. I don’t even know how or what I’m going to shoot. I just know where I told us to meet. I’m sure I will snap out of this and come up with something good.

As far as the gay party goes, I have been going back and fourth in my head about rather or not I’m going to shoot there or not and I have now come to my final decision. I am done. I will not shoot at their parties for a while. Even if she ask, I will just say that I can’t make it. They have a party coming up this Saturday, and I will not go. I’m never a part of any crew I guess. I’m a lone wolf and I’m just a photographer. That’s the way it is. It just feels funny to me that she keeps telling me to slow down on the booty photos. I could be wrong, but I think she’s just worried about her girlfriend. Her girlfriend loves getting her photo taken by me and that bothers her. This is all in my assumptions. I gotta be right, though. So if I am at least a “don’t take too many butt photos” discomfort to her, suddenly, then I will just disappear. Frankly, I’m tired of a weekend full of gay girls and guys anyways. I want to flirt without having to worry about it. At normal parties, I always end up dancing with or being snuggled under some girl. Butt photos are never a problem.

I had planned on not doing nightlife photos for a while anyways. I just stuck with her because she kept asking me, and plus I ended up liking the parties. But now, I am officially done. I want to lay low and just hang out at bars until next year. Next year, I plan on traveling to New York a lot to finally start doing my nightlife there. We’ll see how that goes if I can afford it.

I keep looking back at the old photos of the last three models I took photos of for my book. I really don’t like the two I took before my newest one. The newest girl is amazing. I’m not sure if it’s the camera or the girl herself. I used a different camera on the third girl than I had used on the previous two.



Take Care !






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