Dear Journal,

How are you feeling? As for me, I’m fine. Today went by well. I woke up and meditated at soon as I got out of bed. I am really not sure if meditating is working for me. I think I have been meditating pretty consistently for a year now. I find that I am still shy, I am still afraid to really speak my mind; I’m almost overly afraid to do that. I still harbor bad thoughts about people because they made me angry and I am never sure how to tell them dead on until it all builds up and I just blow up in their face one day. I still day dream during my meditations. I am still selfish. I don’t care about family at all. I have always been that way and I am not sure why. I am not going to stop meditating, though. I’m going to the 3 hour meditation session here shortly.

I did all those hardfox exercises this morning. I like all of them, but the ab workout takes the most time and it seems easy, but it really is a workout.

I’ve decided to hold off on shooting with that DD’d girl. I woke up and checked my messages and I like what a girl wrote to me.


I just went to the meditation center and I meditated. I guess I was more focused this time. At the end, we have a small circle dscussion. I never talk in those. I just listen. I have been very quiet with everyone lately. Anyways, before I write on let me talk about this morning.

I woke up and I checked my messages and I like what a girl wrote to me


I want to shoot with you. I am not twig skinny like the girls you have shot in the past. I have an ass and 32C natural perky breast.

For some reason, this message reall got my attention, and I decided to just shoot her this Friday. I gave her a call. We are going to shoot. I like what her attitude seems to be. She’s an 8, maybe even a 10. I will shoot that blonde girl for sure at a later time, though. I can’t le her go.

I’m still contemplating calling that girl. A part o me wants to back out, but I’m fighting myself and telling me to ust go for it. She seemed 200% interested that day.


Take care !




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