Dear Journal,

How are you feeling? As for me, I’m fine. Today went by well. I woke up and did a kind of difficult workout from the spartan app. My heart was going and I was sweating. I also did my bioenergetic exercises and my new form of meditation prior to that. I am not sick anymore. I was very happy, today. After my workout, I packed up and met the girl. I did the shoot !

So let me write about this shoot. Let me contemplate my feelings and such.

I really wanted to do this shoot; but why? The only thing that was on my mind for most of the shoot was getting good images for my book. Of course prior to the shoot, I had my what ifs–a bit of inappropriate what ifs, I’ll admit. What if we connect so great and have sex, etc. I think those thoughts come naturally to any man; or maybe not. She called me to tell me that she would be about 30 minutes late. She told me that she would bring her         boyfriend or something of that nature. She left a message saying that because my phone was off when she called back. I called her back and just said that’s fine.

Some photographers don’t want people bringing others along with them. Myself, I don’t really care. I think if someone brings someone with them that they will be more comfortable. Out of all the years I’ve been shooting girls, only one time has anyone ever brought a person with them, well twice. One time, I went to a girl’s house to shoot with her. She had a homegirl come there. It was a coincidence, but I had met the homegirl at a party a few days earlier. We had so much fun that day. That was one of my inappropriate but fun shoots. We did drugs, drank, did a bunch of nude and clothed photos as the homegirl cooked for us and DJ some music. It was one of my best shoots ! WE became good friends. Unfortunately, or maybe not unfortunately, but she’s not modeling anymore. She just did it that day for fun.

OK. Back to the girl. She came alone and she came naked. The only thing that covered her body when I went to meet her in the streets was a long gray skirt. Since she told me that she would be 30 minutes late, I took the time to relax. Something told me that I should grab a beer, so I grabbed one from a food store. I only made it halfway through the beer before she called me to meet her. The whole time, I was thinking of the photos I wanted. The main thing running through my mind was the book.

I had fun doing the shoot. Paying her wasn’t a bother. Seeing her totally naked was nothing to me. Nothing inappropriate was running through my mind. The only thing I wanted was a deep connection. I was concerned about my conversation skills. I want to open people up and get to know them more. That’s a whole new field that comes with practice, I guess. I was robotic with sticking with my plans and what I wanted to do for the shoot. I guess I really do like photography. It’s not about being alone in a room with beautiful naked girls. I have to double check myself every once in a while, you know. The photos we took look amazing. People say my style is like American Apparel. A lot of people say my photos look like their billboards. I like their photos, but they’re not really my influence.

So, I have the answers to my questions. Photography, in general is just something that I like to do.

So I have 11 more girls to go with this project. I’m so glad to be doing these because the girls are really gorgeous and the photos look amazing. I know of another Russian girl that I may be able to shoot with. I will ask her in a few weeks.IMG_8823.JPG


Take care !


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