08/26/16

Dear Journal,

How are you feeling? As for me, I’m fine. Yesterday’s party was great. I went write after I came from my gym. Speaking of my gym, the teacher really worked us last night. IT really wore me out. How do I push myself when I am worn out and exhausted? I was ready to give up. This is Krav Maga:

After class, I went to my job and took a shower and changed clothes. I had a bit of coffee as I wrote yesterday’s wordpress entry. I had tequila afterwords and then I went to the bar and I hung out and talked to people. I had two beers. All that drinking felt ridiculous, but I wasn’t crazy drunk. I think I am just getting tired of drinking.

Daddy had shown up with her two girlfriends and they had more girlfriends with them. Their reaction to proves to me something that I already know–I still have my demons that I’m battling and they will never go away. I just have to find some way to ignore them. Remember yesterday’s entry. I knew I was thinking wrong. At soon as the girls saw me, they all came in for hugs and we talked and such. I swore all three of the girls hugged me about 6 times. No one is distancing themselves from me. I’m just sensitive, I guess. There was another girl there that I just, out of nowhere, thought that she decided to dislike me and ignore me too. She did walk by me several times without saying anything. She just had sort of a “hmm..ok” look on her face. I told myself to stop being immature and just reach out and speak. I reached out and spoke when she came near me. She came in for a hug and a kiss.

After the party, I went home. I almost fought a big guy on the way home. He said that I was trying to talk to his girlfriend. That wasn’t his girlfriend. He just wanted to talk to her too. I stood there just looking him in the eye and ready to fight. I told him that yeah i am talking to your girlfriend and you’re not going to do nothing about it, basically. After I said that, he still didn’t do anything so I knew he didn’t want to fight. I told myself not to push because I just don’t start things. It’s best not to fight at all. I walked off talking crap, and I walked the other way just ignoring him. I think he thought he could intimidate me. It’s just best not to start fights. Ignore the person until they touch you. I woke up this morning feeling a little guilty about that for some reason.

P1070107

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