She’s back. This past year, I had been thinking so negatively about her. I wasn’t sure if I should shoot with her again because, for some stupid reason, the bad side of me started trying to convince me that she was just using me for photoshoots. Whenever she is in town, she calls me up for a shoot. It’s been a year since we last shot together. Yesterdays shoot will be about our 4th shoot we did together. We usually walk/drive around and have a lot of fun.
The first time we shot was perfect. The second time we shot, I felt odd because I feel like I had a bit of an embarrassing moment with her during the first time we shot. The third time we shot, I was even more embarrassed and I was more quiet. I think we still had fun, though.
This time, I was way more relaxed. I was able to keep eye contact with her–something I wasn’t able to do before. I think I was more interested in her back then. So things were cool in my mind until she told me that she is an empath. I wondered if she could read my mind and such. I was afraid.
This time, I was less scared. My interest in her isn’t as high as it was back then. So, I was more uncaring. Maybe the herbal supplements I I take helped me to be a little more relaxed as well. She seemed to trust me a lot more this time.
We had a really great shoot in her camper and at the beach and outside in the streets. I was really comfortable with her, and I was glad we were shooting again. This is my real muse. I’m not sure if I am still interested in her. Sure, if she spread her legs, I’ll go in. But she’s not exactly a girl that I fantasize about all day. That may be the perfect emotional set up for us, though–for me to shoot with her like we did and have no sexual intentions on my mind. I basically stood over her on her bed all night and took photos. She changed clothes in front of me. At one point, which is the coolest thing I had ever seen a girl do, she kept telling me that she had to pee when we were outside. There was no bathroom around us, so I told her to just go for it outside, and she did ! But damn, now that I think about it. I should have got the pic of her peeing vagina. I’m sure I’ll get photos like that from someone in the future so it’s no biggie.
We’re going to shoot again tomorrow, and hang out.