And then, there is the host of this small party. I’m not attracted to her at all. She’s not ugly, she’s just not my type. We’re not the same people if you know what I mean. I have nothing against her, really. I just don’t feel like we vibe, and I don’t really trust her completely. It’s nothing that she did. That’s just how I am, I think. It’s not that I don’t trust her, her and her family seem like nice people. She’s just not the..my type.
I was kind of curious about having her as one of my muses, but that was before I got to know her a bit more. I liked that she has a different talent; she plays a foreign instrument, and I felt like she looked OK enough.
So, there was something I was kind of paying attention to her about at the bar that day. It started when she asked me if I was doing OK and all with my set up and such. I told her that I was fine. In an effort to be polite, I said to her:
Yes, I’m OK. How about you?
She said she was alright. Then she immediately started talking to a girl that was near us. I forgot what they were talking about and what the girl maybe asked her. But her statements were something like:
I’m OK; so is my mom, so is my mother, and so is my BOYFRIEND
I don’t know why, but for some reason, I felt like she said that last word to make it really stand out to me. Though, I do recognize that my thinking can be way off a lot of times. I think I’m sort of insecure, and I always feel as though I am doing something wrong or that people are accusing me of doing something weird/wrong. So, it’s a thought that I recognize, and that I’m not going to pay attention to.
A second thing that bothered me, a bit was when I tried to introduce her to my model. My model is a photographer as well. I think that she is better than me. But she has never had her photos up anywhere, so I was trying to connect the two of them, so that she can have the opportunity to have some photos up next time. But when I introduced her to the host. She didn’t talk to her at all. She said:
Nice to meet you
and then turned her back, quickly, not giving my model the chance to say anything else. I could tell that my model was offended. That, I know 100% for sure. I found the behavior to be a little odd, and I wasn’t alone there. My model turned to me and said:
I guess we’ll just catch her when she is not busy.
A third thing that kind of made me shrug about her was the day that I photoshot her. It’s a big deal to her that I photograph girls naked. She giggled and made a comment about it. Like she was worried that I would ask to photograph her naked, as if that’s all I’m about or something. It didn’t even cross my mind. She’s not as brave and mature as the girls I have done photoshoots with. Maybe I don’t like this girl…