I think about her, now. I didn’t before, hardly ever. I thought that our story would be “just another adventure and to never meet again” or however I should state that. Last night, she looked gorgeous. She looked way better than when I went to visit her at home to do a bunch of naked photos. But, hey, she was at home, and her hair was unkempt that day. The photoshoot was random, but it ended up being my best and most favorite. Whenhad first ever met each other at that bar, she didn’t looked that good. Now, I see that it was because she was wasted, aka, shit-faced.

Her eyes were big, and they had a really brown glow to them that I noticed, even in the dark. She looked clean. I guess I can say that it’s because she was out instead of just lounging around at home. I had no intentions with her. I still don’t, but my attraction could be growing. I invited her to come because…now that I think about it, some of the things I said above are lies. I know that half of me invited her because I wanted to see her, again.

Hey, I’ll have one of your photos hanging up, so you can come check it out if you want.

That made for another excuse, though my statement was true. I was half and half–I wanted her to check out her photo, and I wanted to see her.

She seemed excited, and happy. She was excited when I told her. She seemed touched, and she was making very strong eye contact and followed me around the bar most of the night. She asked to hang out with me more. She asked me to take her to specific places I had mentioned to her that I planned on going to–comedy clubs, and other parties, etc. She left earlier than me. She hugged me twice while saying goodbye just like that Russian girl, who I still think about, did. It was the exact same double hug, different body, different girl.

Does all of that mean interest? I can never know. I don’t even think I’m interested in her. I found her attractive, but when I met her, the girl she was with seemed uptight and jealous because that is her girlfriend. She’s not into guys. That’s what I’ve always thought. she didn’t say that, but she said that that girl is her girlfriend.  But she seemed to want my attention in the bar that day.

It’s whatever. I’m still going to keep it as just friends. She has no interest in me like that. She’s gay; or she could be bisexual.  And besides, I remember that ideal woman list that I made. She’s not described in the looks. What’s an ideal woman, anyways. Does it really supposed to happen like that? I made an ideal woman list describing the certain type of woman I want. I wrote down the looks, personality, and daily habits and all. But when I am out and about and in real life, none of that seems to apply. I find myself attracted to many woman who are no where near the description. What if this girl does like me and I like her back? I guess what I wrote about looks would not be so important. The personality portion is actually what’s vital now that I think about it.

She seemed set on coming to a comedy show with me that I frequent. We’ll see what happens with us. I’m just glad to have her as a friend for now.



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