Dear Journal,

How are you feeling? As for me, I’m fine.

I’m sitting here thinking about things and I am generally confused, really. Before I get into that, let me just say that I am on the third reading of this book and it seems really frustrating to have to read it 10 times, but  I still have that goal. How will my life change after reading this book 10 times. I can say that since I have been reading this book, I am more confident with girls. I’m not chasing any, though. I will not chase until I am done reading the book 10 times.

Did I tell you that I made an “Ideal Woman” list about two weeks ago? I really tried to think of what I want. But at the time, I could only think of that Russian girl for some reason, so I just put all of her qualities on that list. But when I am out in public, I find myself being sexually attracted to sort of heavier girls. Does it mean I want a heavy girl? Nah, as I write this, I don’t think so. I almost talked to one I saw on the bus, today. Something about the way she was playing with her hair attracted me.

Did I tell you that I met a Russian girl on the bus Friday, night? I really loved her accent. She rejected me when I asked for her name, though.

Sooo…these days, party wise, I’m getting pretty close to a lesbian girls that throws homosexual themed parties, and I photograph them. I like the way the girls are all over each other.

Which leads me to admit that I have been photographing parties like that for a while now. I don’t know how to describe it, but I think that …. nah I can’t blame them. The thing is that I have always had a really soft voice. That’s just how I talk–really calm and really soft. So soft that it’s getting to the point where some people….some girls that I start talking to in nightclubs ask me if I’m Gay. It has happened to me three times that I can count. I was at a pool party, recently. I was walking around talking and having fun when suddenly the girl,, who was letting be take photos of her booty turned to me and whispered a question in my ear, “Can I ask you something? You’re gay, right?” I said no.

Take care ! Times up.




2 thoughts on “04/28/16

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