02/29/16

Dear Journal,

How are you feeling? As for me, I’m fine. The past few days have went by well. Nothing really happened. It has actually been sort of a boring weekend to report about. On Friday, after work, I did coke and drank wine, again, and I stayed up way past me bedtime. I slept a lot. I woke up and meditated and redid my resume and browsed some photographer jobs. I drank more wine and watched TV, and I went to sleep really early.

I work up on Saturday morning, and meditated. I decided to finally go and do community service for a ticket I got a while back when I had my car. I had to worki n a thrift store. I love thrift stores ! With this one, in particular, I was more attracted to some books I came across. I bought one. I thought that it might help me to understand women better:

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It seems like a good read. I worked in the thrift store for about two hours, and she put me down for 8. After that, I came home and took a nap. The porn place asked me if I could come and do some work, but I just didn’t feel like doing anything at all, so I declined. I woke up to a bunch of likes on my facebook, from Michelle, and a facebook message from Michelle, basically asking to hang out.

I would have declined her too, but I knew that that would mean not seeing her this weekend nor the next because I will be busy. She basically asked me to meet up with her at a party, so I did.

I haven’t seen her since the first weekend I met her. She looked so cute/beautiful Saturday. She’s certainly not ugly. I may have to put her in my collection of galleries. I will put her in my collection of galleries. She’s a really nice and sweet girl.

We hung out, together, at the party. I avoided my tendency to flirt with various girls and talk to people. I saw a lot of cute girls there. I just didn’t feel comfortable approaching girls in front of Michelle. I didn’t want her to feel sad. I’m not sure if she would have. I did want to separate and give us the chance to talk to other people, but I was worried about ditching her. I was curious on rather she wanted to separate for some time, too.

I would walk somewhere and stand a certain distance from her, but she kept following. So we pretty much stayed on the dance floor and by each other’s side for hours. Now it seems just weird. But whatever, we are OK.

I saw various people that I knew there, so I did say “hi” to a few people. I went to the bathroom and ran into a girl I had met last week. I almost started flirting. I kept watching over my shoulder to see if Michelle was behind me while I was talking to two really cute girls, one who was messaging me on instagram for a bit, but ignored me when I asked for a photoshoot. I started to remind her, but I just shut up.

I went back to Michelle, but I started to think of that girl. I just wanted our photoshoot, and I thought that now would be a great time to catch her since she is partying, you know? Went to the roof where she was and saw like 5 guys crowding her and I didn’t want to be in an attention giver group, so I gave up.

I generally did appreciate having Michelle by my side, so I told myself that.

I kept wondering if we should separate. A gay guy started dancing with her and I walked away some distance, but she came back right by me. She kept dancing with him, I would go away some distance and she would stop and come dance by my side. I guess she was worried about not ditching me too.

A blond haired blue eyed girl came up and talked to me. I know she wanted to dance. I avoided her because I didn’t want to end up ditching Michelle. The blonde girl was watching me all night even when she was dancing with another guy. Eventually they got closer to us, later in the night, and she finally just grabbed my hand. We started dancing.

I was dancing with her. She was gorgeous, and I loved her energy and the feel of her whole body. She seemed like she would be really fun and just wanted to have a lot of fun, really. I was looking at Michelle to see how she would react. I guess she didn’t mind. Why would she? Right? We’re not dating or anything. We’re just friends. Michelle did seem like she was getting mad only because the blonde girl kept bumping into her. I saw her frown and roll her eyes. The blonde girl’s group of friends were leaving. She didn’t want to leave. She just wanted to dance with me. She eventually had to hug and say “Bye.”

Our dance was short. I went back to standing back by Michelle’s side.

Michelle told me that she wanted to leave. So I left with Michelle. We were walking together and talking about things. She hugged me goodbye when she got to the train station and said

Call me when you want to hang out, and not only that. Just call me whenever you get lonely or need someone to talk to.

Isn’t she sweet. 🙂

So that’s the friend I need. I’m really going to cherish our friendship. I look forward to doing a lot of things with her.

Yesterday, I did nothing. I slept like ten hours. I woke up, I had breakfast, I meditated. I exercised in the park and i came home and cooked my lunch and dinner.

Take Care !

 

 

 

 

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