02/12/16

Dear Journal,

How are you feeling? As for me, I’m fine. Yesterday went by well. I didn’t sleep well though. Mainly because I was trying to stay up and watch a TV show, but I also needed to go to sleep. So I kept waking up about every two hours or so. On top of that. my neighbor’s small dogs were fucking BARKING !!!! non stop for hours it seems. I absolutely hate small dogs for that reason. I love big dogs. It was the most annoying thing ever.  I ended up getting out of bed an hour and a half after my alarm and then I cooked lunch and dinner, had breakfast, and set up my online access to my new investment account. I’m glad I finally got that started.

After that I made it to my Krav Maga class. The workout wasn’t that intense. After Krav Maga class I headed to work. I got a little sad/depressed when I looked at Instagram and saw the bar that I do photos at giving a shout out to that girl, who hates me, that was doing photos. Lately I have been having this “me against the world sort of feeling.” I always feel like no one really likes me. The bar likes…or they used to like when I did photos there, but they have never shouted me out on Instagram I feel like. But then again, when I think back, they did maybe once or twice and they also post my work on their facebook page sometimes. So, what am I being emotional about? I even tried to pay for my drink this past weekend, and they wouldn’t let me pay. They just gave me the drink and said it’s because I’m doing photos. Maybe I’m jealous of the girl. I’m trying not to be in competition with her. I don’t think it’s good to compete. I’ve always been an emotional, person, though. I’m a Cancer.

I was nearly in tears. I had exercised in a park and I also meditated there after Krav Maga class. I headed to work when I was done. I was nearly in tears walking done the street thinking of all the hate I have or think I have against me. I don’t care, though. People can hate me.

As I was walking down the street, I saw that blond girl I had hit on about a week or two ago–the one I had told that if we see each other, again, it’s meant to be. Well, I saw her. I am not sure if she saw me though. I hope she didn’t. I walked fast when I noticed the whole thing. When I saw her, I was going to say something when I saw her, the almost tears turned into excitement, but then she looked back and I noticed her looking back to talk to someone–the guy that was with her. It looked like she was on a date. I could be wrong. Either how, I thought it wise not to say anything and pretend I didn’t see her, and I started walking fast and not looking her way. Maybe I could have played that better.

Anyways, take care !

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