02/03/16

Dear Journal,

How are you feeling? As for me, I’m fine. Yesterday went by well. Before work, I did absolutely nothing. I was supposed to go to Krav Maga class and all, but after work, I knew I was dead tired and needed rest. I pre-planned to just sleep in. So I did nothing but sleep. I didn’t read, I didn’t watch TV. Well I tried to watch a few shows on youtube and Amazon, but I kept falling asleep on them. I slept from the time I got off work until it was time for me to go to work again. I feel well rested, now though, and I will exercise, today. I really needed to do that.

So I have nothing to talk about really. I can talk about a certain fault I recognize about my character; I lie. I lie for no reason at all or I lie to hide the simplest things I am embarrassed about. And I have these wars in my head about who likes me or not for no reason. Like when I ran into that girl Friday night.

Her: “Hi ! Nice to see you. What are you doing around here?”

Me: “Oh…I live around here(such a lie !) I was also planning to go to the party across the street.”

Her: “Oh, my office is right down the street.”

Why did I lie to her about such a simple thing? I know I am embarrassed about running into her so many times and having her see me alone all the time, but why should I be. That’s stupid. I hide the silliest things from people. Maybe that makes me not real. Or it makes me seem too private. Most of the time, when people ask me what my real job is, I never tell them the truth. I tell them what my ex-job is–the one that I have a degree in and used to do. I do something else, now. I have no idea why I just don’t tell people I do that.

Anyways. Take Care !

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3 thoughts on “02/03/16

  1. Maybe saying those”little lies” like this are just some defensive signals from your head. Because you don’t really know the girl and I guess that you are not trusting people that easily. So your brain is telling you to lie, because people don’t really have to know the “real” truth, why would they?
    What do you think?

    Liked by 1 person

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