Dear Journal,

How are you feeling? As for me. I’m fine. I have questions for myself, of course–What exactly am I meant to do in this lifetime. I don’t have a girlfriend, and I have never had a girlfriend for a reason. I am meant to figure something out. That’s for sure. At this point, I feel like I am just picking up the sword to slay this dragon of a challenge. That’s also how I look at all my other problems in life. money is the second biggest issue. I feel like money and women are supplementary–heavily related. It’s like if you’ve learned how to make a lot of money you either also know how to get a lot of women or you do’t at all because you focus too much on work. But if yo know how to get a lot of women, you know how to make a lot of money, I think.

So yesterday went by OK. At soon as I woke up, I had coffee and I jogged about 6 miles. I treated myself to Chinese dim sum. The register lady, naturally looked cut to me, so I told her so:

“You’re attractive.”

She said thanks and went about her business as though she didn’t ant to be bothered. At least I said something. I made it home and I worked out some more. Then I prepared to go out. I wanted to go completely outside of my normal spots. So I did so. I went to a fancy bar, alone. I knew no one. I wasn’t nervous or anything. I just stood observing the place:

“What’s my goal here?”

A lady came and flirted with me a little. She just started dancing with me out of nowhere. She wanted to talk too, but it was like I was so afraid of being rejected or something. I just asked her: “How are you?” She said, “I’m fine.” Then went back to dancing with her group of friends. I didn’t push any further. I left her alone. From what I saw. There are a ton of women in that bar looking to be hit on. I will hang there a few more times. I tried to approach one girl just for approach’s sake:

“I think you’re beautiful.”

She seemed a tad bit annoyed and told me, “Thanks, I’m looking for my friend.” I didn’t go any further. Both girls count as approaches. so I’m at about 18 or something. I will definitely go back to that bar next Friday.

Before I went to the bar I ran into a girl I knew at a liquor store. I always run into her at parties. I’m not sure why I was embarrassed about running into her. She was happy. She gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. That’s my problem. I’m often, not honest with people.

anyways. Take care !



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