01/14/16

A man only begins to think harmoniously when he ceases to whine and revile, and begins to search for the hidden justice which regulates his life.

~ James Allen

I really can’t take no more.

I can’t do this anymore.

I must be released.

I have to slay this dragon.

I have to fight this.

Dear Journal, How are you feeling? As for me, I’m fine. That’s all I have been thinking about, yesterday, and that’s how I felt, today. I thought all of those things as I tried to sleep. I would not let myself go today without approaching a girl. I had no idea where to go. At soon as I walked out of the house, I decided to finally go and check out a spice store I have been wanting to see for a while, now. The neighborhood it is in has a lot of beautiful girls that walk the street.

The spice store was a huge disappointment. It has nothing but dry spices. I don’t like dried spices, I like them fresh. Perhaps I may come to this store if I can’t find anything in the grocery stores that I shop at. I thought I would find a decent selection of tea, but it had four jars of flower tea. I was so disappointed. I didn’t stay in there long at all. On the way to the store, I didn’t really see any girls until I got into the neighborhood. A lot of them were walking in groups. I only saw a little bit of them walking alone. I felt like I was running out of time because I wanted to get back home and study. I told myself to just do one at least.

Then I saw a very beautiful girl walking towards me. I was scared to say something. A few minutes prior to this, I was walking down the streets saying the eight magic words, that I had been reading about,  to myself. When the girl got close to me, things got crazy:

“So, I saw this beautiful girl walking towards me and just thought, well here’s your chance, just say anything. At soon as she got close, I totally deviated from an opener I thought about using, went into some stance for some reason, snapped my fingers and said, “Do you want to get coffee!?” She jumped and said, “Holy fuck you scared the shit out of me !” and she laughed a little. Of course she denied the coffee. It was my fear that I had the entire time that made things a little odd.

She looked liked a mixture of things in the end of it all — interested, confused, surprised, and a bit scared. I can see how this is getting rid of my fear, though. I look back and laugh at that story. I’ll get better well before I make it to 100. I’m certain of it.

Other than that. I did everything I had planned today except for writing that check, calling the post office, and the law of attraction exercises.

Take care !

Today’s plans:

hug yourself, say I love you, pray to God, ask God.

Talk gratitude for two minutes.

olive oil, sleep

wake up, workout

meditate, meditate.

krav maga

law of attraction exercise in the park.

study english at night.

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