12/24/15

Dear Journal,

How are you feeling? As for me. I’m OK. Today went by well, but not according to plans. That’s the thing about plans. Plans are not as important as being strategic like Tai Lopez said in one of his email newsletters that I subscribe to.  I planned on going to pick up my business cards first thing when I woke up, but I woke up too late to go and get them. I thought I would wake up on time without an alarm like I always do, but I didn’t this time. It was probably because I was so tired from yesterday.

When I woke up, I had coffee, instead and I went right to visualizing. I did my two versions of meditation after and then I made myself breakfast. I couldn’t make navy bean and kale soup like l wanted to. I forgot that I needed to leave the beans soaking overnight, so that’s what they’re doing at the moment. So I made shrimp curry and stuff again. Watching  my budget, it’s amazing to see how much of my money goes to food ! Before my next paycheck gets here, I’m hoping that I don’t hit $400. I’m already in the $300.00 range. Thanks to simplenote that I can still keep up with my budget after I lost my phone. OK well, I just checked the app. I’m still a little under $300, so it’s not so bad. I don’t even think I have to buy anymore food until my next paycheck and I am not going to.

OK, now back to my personality observations and such. The alarm clack thing has been on my mind more than people. I screwed that up. How can I get out of this habit? That was bad. I could have just downloaded an alarm clock app for my desktop. I still haven’t done it. I will do it when I get home. The most idiotic thing about this whole thing is that I forgot that I do have a physical clock at home that I never plugged in to use, and I could have used that. I will plug it in and wake myself up to finally go and get my business cards, tomorrow. As far as DJ Kim goes, there is not a whole lot I have to write about her. I just felt like I creeped her out when I am sure I didn’t. I avoided going to her parties, again for the same reason. I think someone told me I was a creep before and it has gotten to me so bad that I walk on eggs about being a creep. I’m not sure who it was, but I’m sure it was someone completely lame. Those are, mostly, the only kind of girls I knew before I started my hobby.

So I will start attending her parties again next month. Next month last year is actually when I met her. She’s fond of me. She even messages me and ask me to come sometimes, or she used to. It’ll feel good to start going to her parties again.

Alright, no more writing about worrying about being a creep because I’m over it. I’m over that and I’m over worrying about who likes me or not. I wanted to write briefly about another female DJ that I know that I suspect doesn’t like me, but it’s not worth it anymore, and besides, I can’t expect or want everyone to like me. We need enemies because they help us grow as well. I can write about Memo, again though. I’ve concluded that she is not using me for photos. She was maybe disappointed/upset that I didn’t make a move on her that day when we obviously connected. She lost respect for me. I’m still not going to do photos of her, again though. I’ll just say “hi” to her at a party and see how she acts there.

I keep thinking about that huge boobed girl I want to shoot. I looked at her instagram, again, today, and I can’t deny she’s beautiful. I’m back to wanting to shoot with her, again. I will stick to my plans about waiting to see her at the next party, though. I have decided on the girl I want to shoot with next month. I just went with what I felt, today. For some reason, when I was practicing photoshop, today and editing a photo of her, I immediately decided to use April, again. We got along great last time we shot together. I would be more comfortable with practicing these new methods that I am learning with someone that I have shot with before. I already know 100% that I will be extremely comfortable. She’s a cool girl. I want to make use of all kind of lines as I have been focusing on with photography this past week. I also want to practice making old pin-up girls/poses come back to real life. I’m going to really put my heart and soul into this shoot with her. 

It’s official that April and I are going to shoot. I already messaged her and she replied, excitedly within a minute or so 🙂 Anyways, I’m pretty sure I will be able to shoot with that girl I keep running into at this party we attend. Waiting to see her in person again to talk about it and such is definitely the right thing to do in her case. We may be able to shoot that night. I can see it.

Anyways, I wrote enough.

Today’s plan:

Wake up and pick up business cards.
Come home eat breakfast
visualize, meditate, meditate
Make navy bean and kale soup lunch and baked chicken with yogurt dinner.
exercise.

Read blogs.

P.S.

I have another wordpress blog that I started using for my party and girl stories. I’m worrying if I should put the high blue lettered portion on there. I’ve been shy about putting content on their because people I know will read it. I can’t ask if it sounds creepy, because it’s the truth and I don’t care. Should I put it on the other blog?

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