Dear Journal,

How are you feeling? As for me, I’m fine. Today went by well. Or maybe not. I woke up with a change of plans. I forgot that I had decided to go to the optional meetings at work on Mondays. So when I woke up on time, by miracle, without an alarm, I decided to go, but when I got there, I found out they will not be doing them again until after the new year. I went there for nothing. I also forgot that I had business cards that needed to be picked up. I spent way too much time trying to pull up the address and directions to the place because the internet was acting up. I finally got the address, but I didn’t write anything down. I figured that the intersection would be easy to remember. It wasn’t. I decided to go there after failed meeting plans and I screwed that up big time. I didn’t remember the intersection. I don’t have a phone anymore, so I couldn’t look it up again. I ended up wasting about 3 hours on bus rides. I have to make that trip again, tomorrow, but this time I will make sure I have the address. What a waste. All of that took a huge chunk of my time, and I was frustrated.

At soon as I got home, I studied wordpress and coding like I normally would on Mondays. I’m reading a thick book, but it’s easy to get through. I’m still not sure if I like the html videos I watch, but I did get some useful information, today. After that, I only had time to meditate for ten minutes. Oh, and I did the other meditation for 5 minutes and visualized for 20 minutes. No Krav Maga class, today. I figured it would be empty there anyways because a lot of people are on vacation for the holidays.

Tomorrow, I plan on buying a new camera. I’m buying a canon t3i with an f1.8 fixed lens. After that, I’m going grocery shopping. Tonight I’m going to open a new bank account and read a Sherlock Holmes book for English class. I’ve always wanted to read his books, and now I get to because I am taking this class and they it has a lot of books by him to read for assignments.

I thought about that girl I met. I looked at her instagram again and at our conversation on it. I’m not sure why I feel this way today, but I am more than likely, not going to ask her to shoot. I can foresee complications. Her response was:

“I tend to get kinda awkward, but maybe !”

I can take that as being a “no”.

But there’s an exclamation point at the end. Does that mean she’s excited? And in a negative way, on my part, I may be judging her. I see that she is close friends with a sort of famous model and DJ that I know of so she might not want to shoot. Perhaps she doesn’t want her friend to see her in a certain way? What should I do? I think I’m just going to drop it and find another girl via online like I do a lot of times. Plus it will be already established between me and the girl that we both want to shoot, together, and not me convincing someone to shoot. Trying to convince someone to shoot with me is a weak move. I think I should go after someone that already wants to shoot with me to begin with. That’s what happened to me with several girls I have met in nightclubs. The ones that came with ease are the ones that asked me. The ones that flaked and put out wishy washy behavior are the ones that I asked. And then there is some that were…I don’t know…just weird.

For example, I met a Chinese girl once. I was doing photos and she just came out of nowhere and asked me to do a selfie with her. I took her to a back room and took more photos of her. The next day she sent me a message on my facebook page asking to hang out and she sent me her number. I said yeah, but every time I arranged the date, she flaked. Then there was another girl and another and another doing things of the same nature. I’m not going to write in detail here about them all. It’s too much time. I can never figure it out. And why I am even thinking so much on this girl. All I have to do is ask. If she wants to shoot, she does, if she  doesn’t, she doesn’t. But, you know what? I’m going to experiment this time. I’m not going to ask her or follow up with her response. I’m just going to wait to see how she reacts when she sees me in person again. I do need to find two girls, though. I need one for the non nude shoot I want to do. I need another for the Japanese hotel I always use which will be a nude shoot.

I have a lot of other things that I want to write about, but I will write about them another time. Remind me to write about Joanne tomorrow and all of these female DJs that have been on my mind these past few days.

Today’s plan.

Wake up, go and purchase the camera.
Take it home and have coffee as I visualize.
Pick up cards
Go grocery shopping.
meditate, meditate.

exercise: run for 20 minutes and practice kicks and getting up. Look at a grappling video.

Read wordpress blogs.

Take care !



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