10/15/15

Dear Journal,

How are you feeling? As for me, I’m fine. I feel great. Tomorrow’s Friday. I’ve made the decision to party, and I am certainly ready for that. I will make sure I am not drunk before I do my Stylelife Challenge day 9, finally. Last week was an absolute failure, haha ! Do not drink a lot of Wild Turkey 101 unless you can handle it. I haven’t decided where I’m going to party, yet, though. I shouldn’t plan on drinking and drugging too much because I really want to make it to Krav Maga class on Saturday. I will balance things. I’m excited to see what girl I’m going to meet. I’m more than certain that I look good. I’ve been catching girl attention all week–all week, girls have been starting conversations with me. I talked to a beautiful Filipina at the bus stop. I just answered her questions she asked me, though. I didn’t take it any further. I saw a sort of beautiful girl on the bus, today. I was leaving Krav Maga and was on my way to shoot photos and have coffee before work. I tried not to stare her down. She was on my mind while I was reading from the moment I saw her. I though she looked kind of familiar, so that was part of the reason. When I got up for my stop I headed to the rear exit and I glanced at her. She smiled, but I didn’t smile back. I was in serious mode. I should have at least smiled, especially since another blogger I like (In My Parlour) mentioned a line about a smile in one of her poems. I ruined a moment to smile at someone.

Today went by well. I’m still on my plan. I woke up and went to the park and did bioenergetics and then I went on a nice jog for 20 minutes. It was cool to jog around the neighborhood. I stopped to take a photo of something I liked. My new phone sucks at taking photos. After I jogged I took a semi cold shower. I want to do ice cold because I learned that ice cold showers are good for you, but I’m not quite ready to endure that, yet. I need motivation from the video I had learned about it from. After that, I made oatmeal and prepped my lunch and dinner for the day. I made beautiful rose buds tea with lemon and cinnamon and I photoshopped one of the photos I had taken from one of my 36 picture assignments. By the time I had got done with that it was time for me to go.

I came to class 20 minutes late. I hate coming late. It was only because the bus was late. I would have cancelled going but I just sucked it up and went to class anyways. It was really good that I did. I learned a new technique that I like. Also this woman chose me to practice with her. This would be about our third time practicing together. She’s much older than me, but I’m starting to like her. In fact, I like her already. She has hair that I like, or she wears it in a style that I like and she has beautiful blue eyes. I stayed focused as much as possible. At soon as it dawned on me that I like her, I had to fight the erection that was going to happen. I stayed focused and I didn’t rise. She’s obviously comfortable with me. I told myself that I would not date anyone in class, but I think she might be my breaking point with that. Her aura is just…soft. She has to be in her 50s, but she pretty. Maybe she’s in her 40s. I’m not going to be the one who makes the move, though, and I hope that it never shows that I like her. I like everyone, man. I have a like disease.

I told myself that I need to find a new girl by the end of this week. I didn’t look at all, but a girl sent a response to a craigslist ad that I placed a few weeks ago, and then renewed last week. She looks OK. I’m glad she responded, though. I’ll just have fun practicing with her. I haven’t responded to her response yet. We’ll probably end up shooting next week.

Today, I’m just going to wake up meditate…oh, I didn’t have time to meditate at home before class, so I just meditated on the bus on the way to class. I’m determined to stay on top of things and not miss a day. I only want to be at this job for another year and then I want to move on to something big, so I’m going hard at everything. No more excuses. So, today, I’m going to take up and meditate and then jump rope and practice Krav Maga in the park again; go grocery shopping, and then I’m going to go around the city taking a few photos. I need to find somewhere to explore, today. After all of that….

I’m just going to party.

I wished for it to happen and it did.
Lucky am I to have it my way all the time.
Blessed do I feel even while doing this bid.
A man does the time for doing the crime.
You get what you put into.
You ask and then you get.
You reap what you sow.
I don’t want to go through this no moe.

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