07/26/15

Dear Journal,

How are you feeling? As for me, I’m fine. My weekend is over. Nothing really extraordinary happened. Between cooking that big meal and looking for ingredients for it and between doing a photoshoot with that girl without sleeping the day prior, and also between cleaning my place up(which was a mess) I felt kind of stressed and drained of energy so I eneded up sleeping a lot. On Saturday night, when I did get the chance to go out I choose to go to a low key place just to see and support my associates who were playing there. I didn’t really see it as a place to game and do pick up art, but I was open to it there. I didn’t approach any girls because I didn’t feel like it was the right place/nightclub environment to do it in. The best place to approach a girl like the way the pick up artist books describes to is either being out and about during your day or a nightclub. So I just stayed there low key. I barely had a good time, though. That girl that I don’t like just happened to be there. She was displaying a lot of needy behavior. Just “hi and bye” is all she gets from me. I’m decided. She did introduce me to a girl that she brought with her. I talked to her a bit while mentally observing my conversation skills. She asked my name, but didn’t bother telling me hers. I thought that was odd, and I figured. If she didn’t tell, why ask. But I ended up asking anyways just to see. I didn’t talk to her long. I tried talking to my associates, but they acted like they didn’t want to be talked to. I thought that this was odd too. Was I being the needy one here. I left at 1am and thought of going to another party, but I ended up going home. I’m sure I would have had a great time at the other party.

I had a lot on my mind. My car, and all the time and money I spent adjusting to this new diet. Why am I so concerned about pick-up art? Whenever I photograph a party, I meet women easily. At least 5 girls would connect with me in one night. I have to get back on that ASAP. But at the same time, I feel like pick-up art will help my life in general and it will especially help me find better parties and connect with people. I will not give it up just yet. I haven’t even been to a traditional nightclub since I’ve been reading about pick-up art. I only went to the underground parties that I normally go to. In the end, I just want to blend everything. I’m sure things will be fine. I have to put on my schedule to approach a girl a day though and not be scared. I’m sure things will be fine. I’m involved with a lot of things just because of photography. I’m sure things will be fine.

I had a weird dream that my coworker was beating my mother, and how I wanted to beat up my coworker. That was weird. I haven’t spoken to my mother in a few weeks, and I haven’t seen her in a few years. I’m so unattached from family. Somehow we ended up this way. I barely miss them. A part of miss hates the fact that they choose to remain poor and uncaring and not do anything about it. My sister is getting better though. She goes to school, now and all. It wasn’t always like this between us. I used to give them so much, but at the time I needed it, they gave me nothing. I’m not sure if I even care for family, and I don’t know why that is. That’s a sort of dark part about me, I guess. Maybe I’m just ‘THAT’ self involved…

Blue jeans, white shirt
Walked into the room you know you made my eyes burn

IMG_0549

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