07/24/15

Dear Journal,

How are you feeling? As for me, I’m fine. Today went by well. I met up with that girl and we did photos. Everything went as planned. I talked to her. I did my best not talking about myself so much. I asked her a lot of questions. I’m not sure how my eye contact was, but I did make sure to look her in the eyes. She was walking beside me. I only broke eye contact to look in the direction I was going and to think about things.

She was beautiful. She had sunglasses on and still looked OK, but when she took them off, that made a hell of a difference. She had reflective eyes that change with the light. That’s how blue eyed girls work, I think. When bright light hits their eyes, they turn green. As I’m looking at this polaroid of her, right now,  I see that she is very stunning. We shot at the same place I took a hike at. It was my first time using the camera that I used,and I wasn’t 100% sure that I knew how to operate it. We’ll see when I get the pics back. I made a mistake with one of the other rolls. It didn’t load correctly, so every shot I thought I did, I didn’t. But’s that’ s ok because I think all of the important shots went to the roll that I loaded correctly. I’m sure they’ll turn out great. The polaroids I did of her all came out to be beautiful.

She was a nice girl. We got along well, but I don’t think there was real chemistry. I made her comfortable, of course, but I didn’t make the shoot exciting. I talked about simple things–generating soft smiles and comfort from her, but not excitement. We didn’t do nudes, but at the same time, I didn’t ask for them. She didn’t wear a bra the whole time, and she kept lifting her shirt up to the breast. It was almost like she wanted to do implied nudes or nudes, but was waiting for me to ask. At one point she asked me to turn around so that she can change clothes and she yelled to me, “It feels so weird to be out here completely naked.” At another point, I told her that I things were feeling right and that I wanted to try some new ideas, and she ask, “so what do you have in mind. She was comfortable enough to touch me when she was losing balance and hug me as we said goodbye. Anyways, It was a good shoot.

I didn’t sleep at all because I needed to see her that morning and I had no time to sleep. I wasn’t tired, though. I made a good breakfast based off the diet, so I felt pretty good. I love this diet. I even started taking some of the supplements it suggest and I am getting used to looking for the ingredients. Trader Joe’s is an easy place to find all of this stuff. I’m not sure why I didn’t go there to begin with. I feel so great after each meal. So after the photoshoot, I went home and slept.

I didn’t go out like I usually do on Fridays, so I didn’t do pick up. I don’t know if my photoshoot counts but to a high degree, it did. It’s not so much about finding a mate, it’s about developing myself and my social skills 100% and getting to know women. After I woke up, I went grocery shopping, again and I cooked my meals. The dinner took a long time to cook because I’m not used to cooking full on meals, but it sure was nutritious and delicious. I defintely am going to make up for the bad week I had in pick up, tomorrow. I have to go out !

Anyways, take care. I’m going to go to sleep or maybe clean my place because it really needs cleaning.

You change your mind like a girl changes clothes.
You PMS like a bitch I would know.
You over think. You always speak critically.
I should know that you’re no good for me.

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