Dear Journal,

How are you feeling? As for me, I’m fine. Today went by a little bit, OK. I didn’t get the chance to write to you until now. I was so busy. I had to go to my stupid bank again to get money. They sent my card, but they never sent the pin number. My mail has been funny lately. I haven’t been getting anything in it. I’m waiting on a few things to arrive in the mail.

So at soon as I woke up, I called a place to see if they still had a camera and a lens that I was interested in; they didn’t 😦 It would have been a really good deal. I kept browsing craigslist and that’s when I saw it–the legendary Nikon FM2. It’s a camera that I dreamed of having for a while, now. It has such a good reputations. Many professionals have used it. I really wanted to get it for under $200 and I have never seen it being advertised for under that until today. I called the guy and he still had it. I was so happy. Luckily he lived right down the street from my bank, so I didn’t have to make two long trips. After I got money out of the bank, I drove right to his house and tried to call him. As I was sitting in my car, a Hispanic lady was pushing that cart thing that they sell food in and walking down the street blowing that very annoying horn to get peoples’ attention. It was loud and annoying. On top of the fact that I was already irritated because I had to drive all the way to my bank, AGAIN ! and my GPS was acting up and sending me in circles. I got out of my car and said, “that’s annoying !” That was an asshole thing for me to do, but sort of funny to me at the same time. She just smiled and walked away and went to talk to her friend.

While I was waiting for the guy to show up, me and the girl that I am supposed to shoot today got into a text conversation. I thought I mentioned to her that I wanted some of the pics to be nude. She said she didn’t know that and decided not to shoot. I double checked my email, and I saw that I forgot to mention it. I emailed a few girls that night while doing many other things, so who knows why I forgot to mention it. The other girl who got mad because I used the word “dedicated” in my email yesterday sent me another angry message saying that I need to edit my emails and said that she will never shoot with me. Maybe she’s right, but she’s crazy.

So, I was out of a girl. Wow ! The fourth girl I lost. I didn’t care. I was so happy to have my FM2, and I told myself that I can use the mental space. I was excited to go hiking alone again or something. So I just continued my day and went to shop for food to prepare for this new diet that I’m so excited about. It’s hard when it’s new because I’m not familiar with a lot of the ingredients and I have to look for places to buy them. That took up a portion of my day. The book emphasizes spices. I had bought some. I used them on a salad I had made and boy what a difference. They taste so good and seem to be very healthy. I’m going to go to a spice shop this weekend.

No pick up today, or any exercises what so ever. I went right to work. While I was at work, I got an email from the original girl I had asked–the one who didn’t respond to my last email. She sent me her phone number and is looking forward to meeting up. I want to save the money, but I’ll do the shoot. She didn’t say “no” and my last email to her was not one in which I was asking a question and expecting a response. I answered her question and I expected an “oh, OK or something. When she didn’t respond, I assumed it was off. I don’t want to flake on her, so I’ll keep my word on the shoot. Good thing I didn’t plan with the other girls. I’m sure we will have a very good shoot. I didn’t mention nudes to her either. I noticed that when I looked through previous emails. But she is one of the ones that I could tell will be down once she gets the good aura from a man, so I’m sure she will do it. I’m not going to sleep after work, though and I have to run around and get items that I will need. A part of me doesn’t want to or is afraid to do it, but that’s just negativity talking. I shouldn’t think so much. I’m not sure if I’m good a not, but I know I’m not excellent. They key is just to have fun and not be in my head in all endeavors.

Anyways, wish me luck today 🙂


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